I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize