Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
