Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
