i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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