Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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