Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this will be a night to untag.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
