Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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