ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize