What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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