how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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