got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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