May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
