his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
