The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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