So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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