I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
