I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So here I am, sexting at work.
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