is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
