What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
