fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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