bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
