he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
