R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
