At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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