oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
