k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
