You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
