I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
