whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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