apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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