All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
