happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
