Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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