Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
