The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
