SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize