Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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