No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
