jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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