Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize