What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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