Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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