wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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