I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize