P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
