Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
