What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
