I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize