Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
