I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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