i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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