I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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