yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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