she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize