I showed him my bush... on skype.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You left your phone here
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