There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
