I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
