hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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