You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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