Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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