I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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