I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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