Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
