Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize