Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
