Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
