Christians are straight up FREAKS
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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