That's intense
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
