There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
