my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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