well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
