i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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