I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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