I look better un-naked...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
