when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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