this beer tastes like vomit already
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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