i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
