The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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