just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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