do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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