How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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