so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
