You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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