He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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